Nobody likes thinking about their own death. Yet the truth is that a little planning now can save your loved ones a mountain of stress, money and family drama later.
You don’t have to overhaul your life to make things smoother for your heirs. A few smart moves today can prevent bitter fights down the road. Here are five steps you can take for your family.
1. Keep Your Documents Updated (Even That Old Will)
You’ve got a will or a trust—great. But if it’s been years since you last looked at it, it might as well be written in invisible ink. Life changes—marriages, divorces, new kids, estranged relatives—and your estate plan should change with it.
Take the case of one mother who drafted a new will but died before signing it. Her outdated version left everything to stepchildren she hadn’t spoken to in decades. Now her sons are stuck in court, fighting to overturn it, and spending tens of thousands in legal fees.
And don’t forget about beneficiary forms. Retirement accounts, life insurance and bank accounts pass directly to whoever’s named on the forms—no matter what your will says. Laura Zwicker, an estate attorney, recalls a client whose brother left a multi-million-dollar IRA to an ex-girlfriend he hadn’t dated in 10 years, even though his trust named his nieces as beneficiaries. The form trumped the trust, and there was nothing they could do.
The fix: Review your documents every few years, and double-check those beneficiary designations.
2. Don’t Let Your Digital Life Disappear
Think about all the stuff you’ve got floating in the cloud: emails, photos, maybe even unpublished novels or music. If you don’t plan ahead, your heirs might never see them.
For example, if you store important files on Google Drive but haven’t set up an inactive account manager, your family could be locked out forever. Same goes for cryptocurrency if no one knows where your Bitcoin keys are, that money could vanish into thin air.
But a word of warning: Never put crypto keys or passwords in your will. Wills become public record, and you don’t want hackers getting their hands on your assets. Instead, leave instructions in a secure place (like a password manager) and make sure a trusted person knows how to access it.
3. Spell Out Who Gets What (Even the Porcelain Dolls)
You might assume your kids will work things out peacefully when dividing your stuff. But emotions run high after a death, and even small items can spark big fights.
Take the case of three sisters who battled over their mother’s collection of hundreds of porcelain dolls. They ended up hiring a mediator to draw straws—doll by doll—until everything was split. A simple handwritten list from their mom could’ve saved them all that grief.
The solution: Make a personal property memo, a simple list of who gets what. It doesn’t need to be fancy (a handwritten note works), but keep it with your estate documents. And don’t forget to say where things are stored. No one wants to dig through the attic for Great-Aunt Edna’s silverware.
4. Leave a Roadmap (So Your Heirs Aren’t Left Guessing)
These days, bills get paid online, statements disappear into inboxes, and important documents live in password-protected files. That’s great for cutting clutter, but a nightmare for heirs trying to piece everything together.
Estate attorney Seth Slotkin warns: “If you can’t find the will and don’t know who the lawyer is, that’s a horrible situation.”
Fix it now: Create a master folder (digital or physical) with:
- A list of accounts (bank, investments, utilities)
- Login details (via a secure method, like a password manager)
- Contact info for your lawyer, accountant, and financial advisor
- The location of your will, trust and other key documents
Pro tip: Don’t go overboard. Slotkin says dumping too much paperwork on heirs can overwhelm them. Toss old tax returns and irrelevant files so they’re not sifting through junk.
5. Avoid Family Feuds Before They Start
Nothing tears families apart like money and perceived favoritism. If one child is named executor over another, or if inheritances aren’t equal, resentment can boil over fast.
Estate attorney Neil Solarz often sees parents unintentionally pitting kids against each other by putting one in charge. His advice: Pick a neutral party—a trusted friend, relative or even a professional fiduciary—to handle things instead.
And if you do have a good reason for uneven distributions (like helping a child with medical bills), explain it in a letter. Slotkin says: “If you’re leaving one kid more money, tell them why. Clarity now prevents fights later.”
A Little Effort Now Saves a Lot of Pain Later
Estate planning makes things easier for the people you love. A few hours of work today can spare them months (or years) of legal battles and family drama. So don’t put it off. Update those documents, organize your digital life and leave clear instructions. You’ll rest easier knowing they’re taken care of.n’t put it off. Update those documents, organize your digital life and leave clear instructions. You’ll rest easier knowing they’re taken care of.
